


Eyes Are The Windows Of The Soul

by FandomRandom



Category: Shipping - Fandom, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom, otp - Fandom
Genre: A real case, Angels, Angst, Creation, Death, Destiel!sex, F/M, Gen, Hell, Impala, Kentucky, Louisville, M/M, Not fem!Cas, Other, Smut, Trains, Trickster Gabriel, Winchesters - Freeform, recreatingDean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-07 16:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1906248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomRandom/pseuds/FandomRandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a steamy night, Cassie finds out that the Dean she met in the bar is the infamous Dean Winchester. A Hunter herself, she knows she needs to run. Everyone involved with the Winchesters die. But there is something there that makes her stay. A sense of loyalty she didn't even know she had. Is there something in her past involving Sam and Dean she doesn't remember?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My Night With Dean

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for checking this out! 1st chapter is basically just smut, so go ahead and skip over if you feel like it. THIS IS NOT FEM!CAS. I cannot stress that enough. Take it as if Castiel had taken a female vessel. 
> 
> Previously named Not The Only Family's Business.

Louisville, Kentucky

I looked around the crowded bar as the smell of sweat, alcohol, and smoke infiltrated my nostrils. The soft ting of bottle and muffled conversations tickled my ears. I was seated by the soft green felt pool tables, sprinkled with dull colored balls. My gaze shifted around the room. Not much here. But then I saw a man wearing an earth toned green jacket and a black tee. He was about 6'1 with tousled sandy brown hair and a 5 o'clock shadow. He looked around the table, his magnificently green eyes crinkled in concentration. He was searching for something. He put his elbows on the table and formed a perfect triangle.

"Damn." I said in surprise. I'd never seen anyone do anything like that before.

An extremely tall man on the opposite side rolled up his red plaid shirt to his elbows and took his stance. He eyed the triangle carefully, striking the cue ball dead center. The balls went in all different directions. He laughed while Green Eyes looked troubled.

I walked towards their table. "Winner takes on me," I said with a smirk, my hands on my hips. They both looked me up and down. The Plaid Giant turned down the corners of his lips and raised his eyebrows.

"I say deal." He said.

Green Eyes bit his lips and smiled. "I'll take you on."

"It's game then."

It was a close game, but the Plaid Giant eventually won. As Green Eyes set up the balls again, I dusted my stick. The Plaid Giant took his turn, knocking a majority of the balls into their holes.

As I went to take my stance, Green Eyes stopped me.

"No, no, no, no. See?" He said while positioning my fingers and placing his hands on my full hips. "Like this," he whispered into my ear.

"Hey! I call cheat!"

"Shat up, Sammy!"

I knocked the rest of the balls into their spaces, saving the 8 ball for last. I concentrated as I tapped the cue ball. It collided with the black 8 ball. Although, instead of going into the hole, it clipped the side of the table and hit Sammy in the face.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!" I rushed to his side.

"I'm fine. Really." He mumbled as he attempted to staunch the bleeding. "I'm gunna go. Get some ice."

Green Eyes doubled over with laughter.

"What's so funny?"

"That," he chuckled, pointing over to Sammy. "Was freaking hilarious."

"Yeah, well, I doubt he thinks it's nearly as funny." I stuttered, my face flushing a light crimson.

"Oh trust me, Sammy has a nice big humour bone."

I laughed and took a swig of my beer.

"I'm Dean by the way." He said, shaking my hand.

"Dean. I'm Cassie."

"Whaddya say about me buying you another beer?"

"I say hop to it!!" And laughed. Dean smiled, his green eyes twinkling, creasing on both sides. It was almost breathtaking.

We walked up to the bar. The Plaid Giant was there holding bag of ice wrapped in paper towels to his face.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Trust me, I've had worse," he laughed.

Haven't we all, I thought.

"Well, I think I'm gunna go do some research over there. See ya later Dean. And nice to meet you..."

"Cassie."

"Cassie." He tilted his head. "I like it. Sounds... I don't know, familiar." He laughed again, looked at Dean then walked away.

"Wanna get outta here too?" Dean asked, biting his lower lip.

I looked him down. "Sounds like a plan," I smirked.

We walked out of the bar to the parking lot. Sitting there was the black '67 Chevrolet Impala that had caught my eye before. The black leather interior caressed the back of my thighs as I slid in.

"This is an absolutely beautiful car. 1967 Impala, right?"

He looked surprised. "Yeah! It has 327 Engine and a Four Barrel carburetor. It used to be my dad's." He slid his hand over, holding my thigh. I gasped and grabbed his leather jacket, pulling him closer to me.

Our lips crashed together. My hands trailed along his jaw, stroking the stubble there. In that moment, those quick few seconds of passion and breath and lips, I knew I needed him more than anything.

"Drive." I whispered.

He chuckled and started the engine.

***

When we got to the Midnight Motel, we quickly unbuckled and got out.

Dean and I busted through the door, our breath racing, our skin hot. Inside, he slammed me against the locked door, my legs wrapped around his waist. I could feel him underneath me, making me even more excited.

His hands traveled from my ass, up my hips, pulling my black Led Zeppelin cutoff with it. He kissed my collar bone, my shoulders, my breasts, leaving little hickies in his trail. I leaned my head back and moaned.

With a growl, he lifted me from the wall to the queen size bed on the other side of the room.

I say on the side and grabbed his hips, kissing the exposed skin between his well-worn jeans and black tee. I don't even remember when his jacket came off. I kissed his belly button, bringing my hands up like he did and yanked his shirt off.

His muscles were perfectly coiled; nothing paperback worthy, but utterly human, real, and beautiful.

I pulled him down on too of me and kissed his broad shoulders. I bit his neck gingerly and he shivered sending heat down my spine, pooling in my groin.

He licked in between my breasts, my stomach, leaving a trail of coolness behind. Dean continued to unbutton my jeans and pull them off.

Using only his teeth.

I pulled him back onto the bed and crawled on top of him. He reached around to take off my bra but I pulled away.

"No sir," I said. "You're still wearing your pants." I ripped his jeans and boxers off in one swipe. When did his shoes disappear? Damn, he's good.

Dean's big boy stood happy and tall. I crawled on top of him, teasingly. With a flick of his wrist, my bra was off, the black mesh floating to the ground.

He flipped me around again, me on bottom. He tenderly cupped and kissed my C cup breasts, licking and sucking on my nipples. I moaned, my back arching. I wanted him. No. I needed him.

"Please," I sighed.

He smiled deviously and kissed farther down. He pulled off my black lace boyshorts and spread my legs. He pushed my knees up and grinned devilishly at me.

The things Dean could do with that mouth! He licked and bit my inner thighs, pushed and twirled and sucked, teasing me until I couldn't take anymore. For gods sake, he was practically holding me down by my hips!

I growled. "Goddammit Dean, please! I need you!"

He gave one last agonizing suck before kissing me there and then on my mouth. I tasted the saltiness of myself. My back was lifting again. I would die if he didn't come inside me right there and then.

He leaned over to grab a red condom from the bedside table. He ripped open the package with his teeth and gently rolled it on the head of his penis, pinching the tip.

Dean held his incredible length, pushing it against my clit, outlining my vulva. I groaned.

He began to push his head into me. He rocked slowly, back and forth, going deeper with every movement. I filled my lungs with his musty scent as he pushed, my hips rising to meet his halfway.

When he was buried to his hilt, he paused and kissed me, long and deep, just like him.

Then he began to rock again. Faster and faster. Deeper, harder.

"Oh God!" I gasped, my eyes rolling back into my head. I tangled my hands into his hair. He shifted and a shocking tingle waved through my body with each push.

"Oh my God, Dean! you feel so fucking amaz-uh!" I grunted.

He bent down and bit my earlobe, kissing my neck, sucking on the hollow of my collarbone.

I could feel it building up in me. My muscles tensed up and a tidal wave of pleasure and intense color crashed through me.

"Ah-uh-uh-mm. Oh fuck!" I fell against the bed. I knew he wasn't done yet, so I rolled him over, me on top. I took control.

I was still sensitive so it felt amazing. Deans hands were everywhere: cupping and brushing my nipples, running down my curves, squeezing my ass.

With one hand, he began making tiny circles over my clit, causing ripples of pleasure throughout my body.

I felt him tensing up, his eyebrows drawing together, breath coming faster through his teeth. I moved my hips more, pushed harder, squeezed my pelvic muscles tighter.

And we both came at the same time. It was intense. We yelled and grabbed at each other. After a few more pushes, we later on top of each other, still connected. I could feel his heartbeat inside of me, pounding in my very core. His stubble tickled my cheek and made me laugh.

"What's so funny?" Dean asked, his smile audible in his voice.

"I just had the best orgasm of my entire life and I don't even know your last name."

He searched my eyes. "Winchester." He mumbled against my lips.

I kissed him back and moaned lightly as he pulled out. I smiled. We both fell asleep quickly after that.


	2. Showering Surprises

The bed springs squeaked as I gingerly rolled out if the bed. I looked back, cringing. Dean was still fast asleep. He looked so peaceful. All of his chiseled features were relaxed, soft. His breath was long, even, and slow. I smiled.

 

I gathered my clothes off of the floor and sneaked my way to the bathroom. I turned on the shower, waiting naked for the steam to appear. _Look anywhere but the mirror_ , I told mysel

Finally, I felt the warm water running over my skin. I loved showers. It felt like the water washed everything away: my past, present, future, even my sins and damaged soul. Of course, that could never happen, but it was a pleasing thought nonetheless.

 

Most people say that they make a majority of their decisions in the shower. With my profession, I would be dead if I waited until a shower to make major life choices. After all, showers don't come everyday, now do they?

 

After a while, when my muscles weren't coiled like a slinky, I stepped onto the cool tile floor. Steam was still rising off my skin. I took the cheap bleached towel from the rack and patted myself dry.

 

I had managed to put on my underwear and jeans when Dean knocked and came in sporting his blue boxers and morning wood.

 

"Hey Cassie. Good morning."

 

He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. We were facing the full length mirror behind the door. I focused on his face, his dark gold stubble, his incredible green eyes. My own shining blue eyes caught too much attention. I can only guess how much his does.

 

He kissed my cheek and I closed my eyes. He moved my waving raven black hair aside and kissed my shoulder, down my side.

 

"I didn't know you had a tattoo-." Dean stopped and touched the right side of my rib cage. He looked up at me.

 

"Where did you get this?"

 

I spun around to face him.

 

"It's from-." I gapped. Right there, on his left collar bone, was my tattoo. A black pentagram, right side up, with black flames spread around it.

 

"Are you a hunter?" Our voices topped each other. Dean blinked and looked taken aback. Then it hit me.

 

Winchester.

 

_Winchester._

 

He was _the_ Dean Winchester.

 

His eyes bore into mine as he slowly stood up. And it was those green eyes that were branded behind my lids as everything around me went black.


	3. Interrogation? Really?

When I came to, I was sitting in a chair by the tiny breakfast table. Outside, the shone down hot. I had reached up to rub my eyes when my hand caught.  _What the hell?_  I strained against the rope that held my arms and legs to the chair. It was useless. I was trapped.

"Oh, you're not goin' anywhere."

I looked up. Dean Winchester stood in front of me, arms crossed over his broad chest. Plaid Giant- Sam. God damn it.- was sitting in the bed.

"Wanna tell us what you're doin' here?" Sam squinted his eyes.

"I could ask you guys the same thing. Last I heard, you were dead. Again."

"Surprise!" Dean waved his hands in the air. "Answer our question."

I pulled against the restraints. "I'm working a case."

"What case?" Sam got up and stepped closer to me.

I laughed. I thought that these guys were geniuses.  _I mean they're legendary hunters!_ Guess run ours aren't always true. "Not yours. Anyone who works with a Winchester ends up dead. Especially when... _involved_."

Everyone's eyes drifted to Sam.

He shifted uncomfortably. "Look, there's nothing here. I checked. It's just a normal small town in Kentucky."

"That's what all the horror movies say. If only you could stop chasing Daddy around the country long enough, you could sit down and watch the news! you're in Louisville: Home of the Pope Lick Goatman. They've done multiple news segments, documentaries, movies, it even has it's own Facebook page."

" _Seriously?_ " Dean looked between me and Sam incredulously. "A Facebook page? Are people seriously that stupid? Stuff like this doesn't exist! It's like Sasquatch!"

"Yeah, except there's tons of real lore on it! No. No, I'm not working this with you. This is my case! You'll just screw it up!"

"Well, I'm glad you have so much faith in us. But, uh, you aren't getting out of that chair," he pointed to my legs and smirked. "Until you tell us everything you know."


	4. New Breeds Of Evil

I rubbed my sore wrists. Man, those restraints were right as hell.

"You do know I'm a hunter, right?" I asked incredulously.

Dean cleared his throat. "Uh. Yeah. For the most part." He looked at his brother who was furiously typing on the keyboard of his laptop. "Sammy and I have just ran into a few, uh, posers lately. Got into a couple messes here and there. Part of the life, ya know?"

"Yeah," I said hardly. "I know."

Dean sat back. "You know, you really do have the most brilliant blue eyes. I've never seen anything like them."

I rolled my eyes.

"Right now isn't really the time for flirtations, Dean. Come look at this." Sam waved us over to the window where the table sat. He turned the screen towards us.

"So get this, there have been sightings of this Pope Lick Goatman dating back to the late 1940s, early 50s. Witnesses say it's a man sized creature with black haired goat legs, a human torso, and goat horns. He's usually seen around the woods by the trestle. It's said that he uses hypnosis to lure people up there where he kills them. He mimics the voice of a loved one, or special person to bring them close enough. One legend suggests that he holds you down until a train comes across and kills you. Another says he bargains with you. It's said that the fallen victims would've rather jumped to theirs wan death than approach the monster."

"So, what're you thinking? Shapeshifter? Goat-werewolf hybrid? Ha, weregoat! No?" Dean laughed at his own joke when neither of us reacted.

"I don't know, Dean. I've never seen anything like this before. I mean, cryptids aren't supposed to exist."

"But neither are ghosts, or demons, or vampires, or anything else that we hunt," I jutted in.

"Well, that's true. But still, how do we know this is a real job?"

I stood up quickly in anger and frustration.

"Because I lost my sister to this job. That's why I'm here. To finish this. To kill the thing that killed off the last little bit of family I had left. " I sat back down. "And it's not a cryptid. I've been to the site already. It's a crossroad demon. But it's different than any other thing I've seen before. All the evidence points toward it. You just have to know."

The Winchesters looked at each other inquiringly, and then back to me.

"Okay." Dean said. "Then let's go check it out."


	5. Legend Busters

Dean, Sam, and I climbed into the Impala and drove across town to the trestle. We would have to wait until it got dark to really check it out, but it wouldn't hurt to drive by.

A metal fence blocked adrenaline pumped teenagers from pushing their own death on the tracks, but it hardly stood as security. All Sam would have to do is step over it.

Two different roads passed underneath with a narrow strip of wildlife still left between them. Tall plants and flowers sprouted there, stretching to meet the sun, spilling onto the pass. Trees surrounded them. The world around them was a deep lush green with hints of different reds, yellows, and browns peeking through the leaves and grass.

The earth never ceased to excite and intrigue me. All of this life! The tiny insects that traveled around, helping the environment in more ways than we give them credit for. The animals that played predator-and-prey to prevent overpopulating. If humans would just let nature do it's job, the earth would be in a much better place. I mean, how important is lipstick to you?

I looked to the partly cloudy sky. The deep, bright blue almost matched my eyes. The clouds crawled by lazily, inching their way in a little race across the globe. I wondered how it would feel to be among those clouds; to fly so high, your worries stayed far away. I bet it would be invigorating: to feel the wings sprout from your back and stretch across the empty space.

I felt a memory tug. Wings? Black ones. Like my hair. With a sheen of blue. What... I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"You okay back there?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm just looking at the scenery. It's so beautiful out here it's hard to imagine how much death this place holds."

Sam cleared his throat. "You know, some of the most precious and beautiful things in life come from darkness and pain. It makes us take a look at all the things that we took for granted before."

I smiled and quietly agreed.

"Okay you two lovebirds. Look over there. See that car? He hasn't moved from that spot since we got here. He's sleeping, which tells me we won't have too much of a problem tonight."

"Yeah, unless another cop comes and takes his place. But the files say that there hasn't been a death here in a few years, so we should be okay," Sam commented.

"Let's get some grub and come back around midnight, shall we?"

~*~

The car purred to a stop beside the wire fence. The full moon illuminated all of dew on the leaves. It was a bit chilly for a mid-September night.

I wrapped Dean's jacket around me. My long khaki colored coat smelled like it hadn't been washed in a year. Maybe that was because it hadn't. So Dean reluctantly let me borrow his.

We threw our bag over the fence as we made our way over it. It wasn't hard for Sam; the fence only came up to his chin.

"Is this yarrow?" Dean asked, as he picked something up from between the two roads. It was many yellow flowers bunched together on one long stem. The bottom was pretty flat, not rounded like the others you see in the wild. It  _was_  yarrow: an important ingredient to summon a crossroads demon.

"But what kind of crossroads demon shows up as an animal/human mutant?"

"Well, they usually project anything that the summoner wants to see, right? That's why hot babes show up for most of the male summoners. There was that one time Snookie showed up. Man, was that awkward," Dean shifted his weight and laughed. When he saw that he was the only one relishing the memory, he quickly got back to buisness mode.

I began to walk towards the tracks. "Alright. Let's trap ourselves a demon."


	6. He's Hereee

As we trekked down the miniature hill to the road underneath the tracks, I searched the darkness, my bright blue eyes growing wider, like an owl's. We had no idea what this creature actually looked like. Drawings and descriptions varied from flowing hair on it's head, with course, hairy, black legs and the torso of a man, to huge horns with no hair except it's legs and very human-like qualities. I stayed in step with the Winchesters. We all needed to stay close together. Another legend claimed that the monster could mimic the voice of a loved one, or helpless person.

The last thing I needed was to hear Gabrielle's voice to beckon me onto the tracks. I shivered even just thinking about her death here. A few months ago, my sister would have been standing right next to me here, hunting this thing with us. But no. This creature had lured her in and mutilated her. The last thing I remembered was hearing her screams, her bones breaking, her blood choking off the sound of her fight.

The boys turned around.

"You alright?" Dean asked, quietly. I was a couple of yards behind them, frozen mid-step.

I shook off the fear, the pain. It was a common thing to do when you grow up hunting. You become the bait if you show any weakness.

"I'm fine." I began walking past them. "Let's go."

* * *

Sam filled in the lines of the Devil Trap. It was a deep green, a color we had hoped the demon couldn't tell when we summoned it. It would walk right through and- BAM! Trapped like a lobster we could deep fry in a pan of deserving death.

Dean had the box ready to bury. A picture of himself, graveyard dirt, a black cat's femur, and yarrow from the corner of the crossroad, all wrapped up in a hefty cigar box. It was the main ingredients to summon one of those filthy fuckers.

"Why would people even summon demons? It's idiotic! I mean, do they not even watch television. All it does is mess up your life more than it already was, as well as punishing those around you." I crossed my arms.

Sam turned his head towards me as he made the final touches on the trap. "Some people want their lives to end well. I mean, you're going to die someday anyway, right? So why not die surrounded by the things or people that make you happy?"

"Except you don't die happy," Dean included. " You die surrounded by hellhounds, and trust me, being one of those thing's chew toy isn't anywhere near what I would call 'loving'."

 _That's right_ , I thought.  _This is the man that has been to hell and back._ No one really knows how he came back. There was a really strange rumor, but I couldn't remember what it was. It hurt my head just trying to think about it. I focused on what we were doing instead, shaking my out my hair.

The boys stood up as Dean began to recite the incantation:

**_Daemon, esto subiecto voluntati meae._ **

We waited for a few minutes. The wind howled softly, the full moon was covered by the clouds. It looked a storm was coming all of a sudden.

"Do you think it worked?" Dean asked.

"Oh, it worked alright." A young woman's voice appeared from far above us, on top of the trestle. "Why don't you come up here and see for yourself?" The demon giggled.

"Thanks hun, but I usually don't swing for demons. Nice try though." Dean mocked it.

The creature laughed again. "Oh, that's right..." The creature's voice began to shift into a lower octave, somewhat deep, and honey-like, definitely a male, from the roughness underneath it all.Thunder cracked across the sky.

"You prefer  _angels_..."

Dean tensed up, like he knew that voice. It felt familiar to me as well. It made me uncomfortable. Where have I heard that voice from...? It was obviously someone Dean and I had both known. Wait, did it say an _**angel**_? No, angels don't exist.

"Come down here and fight, you pussy!" Dean shouted. "Fight like a man!"

"Oh, but Dean," Dean turned around to face the hideous creature. It's hair was dark and sinewy, torso hairy and covered in mud. His eyes shined a nauseating green when the light of the uncovered the moon fell on them. His pig-like hands grabbed Dean. "I'm already here."

The monster threw him to the ground.


	7. Secrets Are Revealed

Dean grunted as his shoulders collided with the base of a trestle leg, making the old structure tremble. A stick broke underneath the monstrosity's hooves as it slowly made its way to me.

"Dean!" Sam and I yelled.

I started towards him when Sam lunged for the demon, raising the demon blade high in the air. The hybrid knocked the knife out of his hand, shocking Sam, as he pushed him into a nearby tree.

"Sam. Oh, my dear Sammy. You should know better than to do that. Do you really think that you could use that attack on me? As if I had not seen that one before?  _Tsk-tsk._ I heard that you were much more intelligent than that. I guess even demons lie, don't they?"

Sam's eyes were wide and full of hate.

"Well, you can go back to hell and join your friends!" He spat, as he tossed holy water on him from a flask he had hid in one of his jackets.

The fiend screamed with a voice so terrifying it sent chills up every person in a 3 mile radius. The birds shook the trees as they flew away from the inevitable danger that was going on beneath them. It's voice was a cacophony of every animal, every person, every instrument, every sound that you can imagine, in every pitch; scratching itself into your ear canal, piercing your ear drum, and eating away at your cochlear.

Dean finally awoke to the pain in his head, minutes after of my own futile attempt to do it myself. We huddled together, attempting to block out the poisonous noise with our hands and knees.

The screaming stopped, and everyone lay still for a moment. The mutant's eyes glared at Sam, reflecting a pus green in the moon light.

Then it turned and started running up the trestle.

Sam immediately started after it.

It had the grace of an  _elephant seal._  
Dean guessed that the hooves wouldn't make for decent traction on metal and rust. Sam could easily climb the rails. Yes, they were far apart, but he was able to pull himself up across every length of the legs. He was the health nut after all: running whenever they had stopped long enough on the road to rest. Exercising help him keep let out his anger, as well as becoming a nice break from his normal routine of exorcising.

"Damn it," I said. "He needs to be down here so we can trap him! We didn't put a sign up there!"

"We don't need one." Dean smirked at me. Out of the blue, he grabbed my face gently and kissed me deeply and passionately. His tasted like dirt, sweat, and pain, but it was so utterly  _Dean_. And yet I tasted an underlying tanginess, like...Metal.

Or blood.

"Dean?"   
I asked as I pulled away. Dean bent over and coughed. A thin red trail flowed thickly from his lips.

" _Dean_? God, no.  _Please_. Dean, what's  _happening_? Talk to me, Dean!"

***

Above us, Sam grabbed the goat's hoof before the horror turned around and kicked him. The hunter didn't take very long to regain his position. At the top, they ran. They ran like it was a race, a race in which only one participant will live.

Winner kills loser.

And Sam never took losing lightly.

The tracks were 772 feet across, which was long for a train track bridge, but not long enough when you're running full speed for your life.

Suddenly, the heathen stopped. It stepped back howling, as if it was being burned. Looking carefully over the 90 foot drop, Sam saw that he was caught in the Devil's Trap he had created earlier. Sam laughed with joy and surprise.

They weren't sure it was going to work, although Dean had seemed to be pretty confident.   
So he began reciting the exorcism he had memorized his entire life.

***

Dean put his hand on top of mine, which was cradling his face.

"I'm fine, Cas. I'm okay. I'll be okay. I promise. I've had much worse in the past. Hell, I've even lost count of how many times I've died!" Dean coughed up more blood and struggled to find his breath. He sat back against the leg. "I mean, that's gotta count for somethin', huh?"

Dean smiled, but it wasn't the straight white cheeky grin he used to woo all the women. No. There were pockets of clumped blood in between his teeth, coating them a sickening red orange color. I reminded myself that I had seen worse.

So, so much worse.

Why was this time so much different? My stomach clenched; not in a way to make me throw up, but a worrisome pain, a gnawing in my soul.

I kissed Dean's forehead and laid his head on my chest. My ponytail popped loose as the tears started to flow over my eyelids and into Dean's hair. My wavy black hair formed a thick veil over his shoulders, covering him.

Like a body prepared for a viewing.

***

 **"** ** _Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica..."_**  
"I can let you have anything you could ever want, Sam."

No. Now it was using Jess's voice. He clenched his jaw and continued to recite.

**_Ergo, draco maledicte et omnis legio diabolica, adjuramus te ..._ **

It began to twitch, its voice faltering.

"I can make her come back. Her soul for yours. Come on. How many times have you done it for your brother? Now you won't do it to save this precious, innocent soul?"

**_Cessa decipere humanas creaturas, eisque æternæ perditionìs venenum propinare..._ **

It began to scream, this time in Jess's voice. Sam flinched. He had heard that scream in his dreams every night, since that fateful night.

**_Vade, satana, inventor et magister omnis fallaciæ, hostis humanæ salutis..._ **

The night he came back into the family business.

**_Humiliare sub potenti manu Dei; contremisce et effuge, invocato a nobis sancto et terribili nomine..._ **

"Do you even know what I am? Do you remember the legend about the farmer? How he bred me with the goats on his farm? Or am I the circus freak that abandoned the train car when the lightning struck and killed them all? Maybe I am just another monster to look for under your bed."

**_Quem inferi tremunt..._ **

"Or maybe, just maybe, I'm a regular Joe crossroads demon looking for a deal? And I can morph into whatever you want to see. I look completely different from what your brother sees. Or his boyfriend. Even all those other people. I wasn't always just a Goat-Man. I just became anything that the person believed. It wasn't very hard to kill those foolish children. And adults too. I guess no common sense runs in the sticks."

**_Ab insidiis diaboli, libera nos, Domine. Ut Ecclesiam tuam secura tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus._ **

It began to speak with so much tension Sam was surprised that it didn't break from the breeze blowing.

"All I had to do, was give them a choice. It  _was_  still a deal, just...limited. Jump, or I kill you slowly myself. Sometimes, if they were known well enough, I'd hide the bodies and wait for others to search for them. It's an all you can eat buffet! And I will do the same to you. And your family. And your friends."

Sam looked it dead in the eye.

"I don't have any."

**_Audi nos._ **

The barbaric creature smoked out of the retched body.

But the body itself didn't disappear. Instead, it began to move, to morph into something more resembling a human, until a man stood in front of him smiling.

He was medium height with long brown hair, and a smile that covered his teeth. Sam wasn't even sure if he had teeth.

"Well. That was a fun game, wasn't it Sam?" He said as he snapped his fingers.  
Sam fell to his knees holding his head in his hands. He looked up, staring at the man in sudden clarity.

"Gabriel."


	8. Hellooo... Trickster?

Sam looked up from where he fell on his knees, his head still pounding, thoughts still groggy.

“Gabriel,” he said in awe.

“That’s right little buddy. Gabe’s back into business! Ya miss me?”

Sam shook his head and looked down.

“Wait, so that was all just a hallucination?” Gabriel had played his hand of tricks on the brothers. He had killed Dean on a normal Tuesday afternoon, over and over again for what felt like months. He put them on TV, expecting them to act their parts to escape. There had been many, but this was his biggest trick of all.

“You were dead. Lu-Lucifer killed you. Your wings burned. You glowed.” Sam rubbed his temples.

Gabriel threw his head back and laughed.

“You really think I’d let my big brother kill me? Hells no!” He held his finger up for emphasis. “Pun intended.” He smiled wider. God, he’s so full of himself.

Sam groaned.

“Come on, let’s go see _your_ brother.” Gabe grabbed Sam by his right bicep and flew him to the ground.

~*~

Dean lay still underneath me. I could faintly feel the rise and fall of his chest with every beat of his heart. His heart was fighting so hard to keep beating. I felt so useless. I was powerless. All I could do was make him feel safe, and do anything I could to keep him breathing.

Even if it meant I had to make a deal with that thing.

I don’t know how I had come to hold Dean Winchester so close to me. We were a one night stand. We were hunting partners for just this one case. We had only known each other for a week, at most. And yet, little things had dug their way into my subconscious. The way he would eat everything on his plate, savoring every bite, as if he didn’t know when he would have his next meal. The way that his eyes flashed at every shadow, hovering behind to make sure it was safe. The way he looked so at peace when he was sleeping soundly, the way he showed his weaknesses when his sleep wasn’t all that pretty.

Even the way that he closed himself off from everyone. He had lost so many people in his life. He couldn’t let himself care about anyone else anymore. Not that he didn’t care, because he cared more than any other human I had met, it was his survival instinct.

“Cas?”

“Dean?” I removed my hair from our faces. I stared into those unrealistically green eyes.

I’ve heard the expression “the eyes are the windows to the soul” before.

This. This was different.

I saw past Dean’s face, past the blood and bone, past the memories, the personality, the instincts, and saw the most beautifully damaged thing to ever exist.

A light, bright and warm, a feeling, security and love, an embrace, like a mother with her newborn child. It was none of these things, yet all of them. It was a symphony of the most finely tuned and played instruments, a mosaic of colors and textures, the smell of rain drifting through the flowing branched of a weeping willow. It was ecstasy.

Still, there were parts that were damaged. A spot that wasn’t as bright, or beautiful as its counterparts, a jagged scar from the recreation after hell. I knew every single inch of this soul. I knew everything about The Great Dean Winchester. I knew every dark corner that he had shoved his beasts and demons into. I know of every person he’s ever loved.

I know because I am the one who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

I spent weeks fighting my way into Hell. Many of my brothers and sisters lost their lives. We almost didn’t make it. That’s when I saw him. Every nightmare he ever had trapped in the same room with him. He was bloody, beaten, broken, dead. There was no difference between him and a slaughtered bull. With a touch of my wings, the chains broke. I grasped his shoulder and pulled him into my arms. I yelled at the top of my lungs, tears flowing,

**_“Dean Winchester is saved.”_ **

I spent much time recovering every bit and piece of his soul. The Word of God says that with the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.(2 Peter 3:8) This is also true for an angel. Time is fluid. Years mean nothing to celestial beings like me. Dean and I could’ve spent a million lifetimes in there, and it was all the same.

I saw Dean in his very essence, anything and everything that is and always will be _Dean_. And he saw me in my own true form. It is overwhelming to the human eye. My voice could kill a thousand men. But Dean was not human in those precious moments. He was Dean.

I took my time with him. I wanted to be sure that everything was there. Of course, no soul gets out of any spiritual place without a remembrance. They were minor and adjustable. I did everything that I could possibly do. When the time came, I gently placed him back into his body.

Dean never remembered any of this. It would be silly to think that a human mind could contain memories as such, but even angels are allowed to hope. I would look into his eyes, begging, pleading for him to remember.

He never would.

The connection that we have on earth is not even 1% of what we had when there were no bodies, no humanity separating us. So I wait. I wait for him to remember, to come back.

“So I see you’ve gotten to the good part.”

I was yanked out of the vision to see another bright form in front of me.

Gabriel.

“Gabriel. Please heal him. Please brother. I don’t know if he can make it much longer.” A tear escaped from my left eye. I looked down as it fell onto Dean’s eyelid and slid into his hair.

Gabe crouched down and touched Dean’s chest. He bolted into consciousness, gasping. He looked at me then stood up.

“What the hell just happened?”

Gabe smiled. “Oh, you’re welcome. It was all my idea.” He pointed behind him. “Sam killed the thing though.”

“Was that even real? Or was that just you toying with us again?” Sam asked aggressively.

“Oh no, that was a real demon. I just figured I’d help you along the way.” Gabriel looked between Dean and Cas.

“What the hell do you mean help? I almost _died_! Sam looks like he bathed in blood!” Dean spoke tensely.

“Well,” Gabe snapped his fingers again. I felt something shift within me. I looked down. I was wearing my navy blue suit, my tie on backwards. I touched the all too familiar material of the beige trench coat.

I was wearing Jimmy Novak. Though Jimmy was long gone, in his own heaven, I still felt a bond with this vessel unlike the other. He was strong. It was like he was built for me.

Dean was staring at me in shock. His eyes were wide, his pupils so dilated, it was difficult to remember what the color of his eyes were. He gaped.

I looked to Sam. He seemed mildly surprised, not even a fraction of Dean’s.

“Oh Dean, honey.” Gabe stood in front of him and rested his hands on Dean/s broad shoulders. “You see? Cas isn’t human. Cas… just rents other people’s bodies. We all know that you’ve had a soft spot, or maybe not-so- _soft_ , spot for dear Castiel.”

Dean just stared at him in shock, eyes blank, mouth open.

“You’ve always loved Cas. No, let me take that back. You’ve always been in love with Cas. Just because his body shares the same no-no parts as your, doesn’t mean he’s any less of you’re soulmate. You fell for him now twice, with both non-important gender roles.” Gabe rolled his eyes.

Dean glanced at me, then quickly turned his attention back to the other angel.

“What do you mean ‘soulmate’?”

“Well, I don’t know if you remember this but, I mean, Cas _did_ show up in your heaven.”

Dean looked down.

“Not to mention that _he’s_ the one who put your pathetic ass back together after _he_ _rescued_ _you_ from _hell_. You both have seen each other’s true self. You can’t undo something like that.”

Dean looked over at me again, a war in his eyes.

“It can’t be such a big deal anyway, I mean, for my father’s sake, he had his son _rescue_ you and trust me when I say he _knows_ what happens. Mary? Not so much a ‘spiritual virgin’.”

Sam gagged.

Dean removed Gabe’s hands from his shoulders and walked towards me.

He searched my face, as if I would disappear at any moment and he must visualize my every feature.

“Cas.” His voice broke. I watched his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he swallowed. “Is it true? Like, that you restored me, and soulmates and stuff?”

I laughed. “Well, I like to think it’s a bit more, how do you say it, romantic the way that Gabe expressed it.”

His eyes were pleading for me to answer, to save him from the purgatory of the unknown.

“Yes. It’s all true.”

A tear fell from his eye.

“Oh Dean, don’t cry. It’s okay, I can leave, you don’t ever have to see me again, I promi-.”

Our lips crashed together like waves against a well-worn rock. He held my face in his warm hands. We were both still dirty, but it was as if by the connection of us coming back together purified us. It didn’t matter.

Our foreheads rested together as we stared into each other’s eyes. “Well, I’m glad we have a little experience behind us,” Dean laughed.

I blushed.

“Okay, well, I think I’m gonna head out now. Have fun you two love birds. Sam? You wanna come with me?”

“Yes, please,” Sam whispered as he jogged towards Gabriel.

“Wait!” I ran after them.

“Thank you brother.”

“It’s no big deal. I had a lot of fun! Except now I have to go wipe a scene from my video camera. Nice bedside manners, by the way.” Gabe patted y back. “Now go enjoy your break from evil for a little bit.”

Dean and I walked to the Impala, hand in hand.


	9. Epilouge

We spent a lot of time alone after that, lying in bed, talking, not talking, kissing, letting that connection grow. We learned everything about each other that we could. I learned what buttons to push to upset Dean. He learned mine. I learned what spots to kiss, to caress to make him do anything I wanted him to. We became intertwined, not like two halves of a whole, but an entire whole, with no beginning and no end.

We hunted together, sometimes with Sam, sometimes not. We raised children left behind from families on the business. We kicked evil in the ass and got a little in return. It wasn’t easy the entire time. We had our difficulties. We parted for a time here and there. We almost lost each other on more than a single occasion. Yet, we had everything we had ever wanted. We had family. We had hope. We had love.

And more importantly, we had each other.

~*~

Many years after that night in Louisville, I crept into our room in Bobby’s old house. (The Winchester brother’s had inherited it after Bobby died.) I set down the TV tray that I had brought in with me on the bedside table closest to Dean.

I brought the wrinkled calloused hand to me lips. Dean slowly blinked his eyes open. A thin layer of blue had clouded over his beautifully green irises, and the whites around them had started to turn the color of aged paper. Despite that, they were still my own loving Dean’s eyes.

Dean smiled up at him with yellowing teeth.

“Hello, Angel.” He reached towards me and kissed my lips.

“How are you feeling today, my love?” I smiled against his mouth.

Dean grunted as he and I struggled to sit him upright. “Old,” he grumbled. “Useless, sick, you know, the usual.”

“Well, you can point that finger right back at you,” I laughed as I sat on the bed next to him. “We all told you to slow down on the whiskey. You knew your liver wouldn’t hold out much longer. Consider it a blessing that your organs are as stubborn as you are.” Dean gave a breathy laugh to that statement.

I took the TV tray from the nightstand. “I made some oatmeal for you. Would you like some?”

“Cas, you know how I feel about that rabbit food.”

“Actually, race horses, certain types of dogs, and –“

He pulled me into a slow kiss again.

“You know what I mean feather head,” he smiled softly.

“At least drink some water, please?”

“Yeah yeah, okay.”

His light was dwindling quickly. I could see that his strength was leaving, even for how hard it was to keep the liquid from escaping his lips. It wouldn’t be much longer before Dean was healthy and young again. I felt a bittersweet emotion flare in my chest at the thought.

Dean finished the glass with an _ah_. “Would you mind if I slept in just a little bit longer? I don’t think I feel as good as yesterday.” He handed me the cup, and I let my hand stay on his for a little longer than normal.

“Yes, of course. We all have our bad days.” I stood up and helped Dean settle into the slopped mattress, worn by many years worth of memories. Memories of when they were young, in love, and couldn’t get enough of each other. Oh, how I wish we could go back to then. As much as I knew that there were better times ahead, I couldn’t get the nostalgia from my mind.

I leaned over and kissed Dean’s mouth hard, yet gentle, full of love, respect, adoration, and pain. He was surprised. He tried to respond with as much passion as he could conjure up, but he was already fading.

“Cas?” Dean whispered. I pulled back and looked into his eyes. The blue layer was gone, revealing the diming soul behind his dull green eyes. The grace from the kiss had torn it away. He wiped a tear from my smooth, ageless cheek. I let out a small sob. His expression shifted a fraction, as if he understood what was happening.

“I love you, Angel. I always have. And I always will. Remember that. Okay? No matter what, no matter how many lies surround you, how much it hurts, always know that I had never lied about that.”

He didn’t know. “Dean-“ he began.

“Cas… I’m so tired. I’ll talk when I feel better, okay?”

“Okay.” I sobbed again. I moved to the other side of the bed and wrapped my arms around Dean’s thick torso. His liver had failed a couple of times by now due to liver cancer, causing his middle to swell. His skin was dry and yellow, his limbs were frail. Dean could never accept it, blaming it on some flu, or virus. But inside, somewhere, he knew. He would never let me use my grace on him, claiming “it wasn’t that big of a deal”. He thought he had to stay strong for me, for Sam. Sam had left a couple years after I found out. It was too hard watching his big brother whittle away.

Tears had made their way onto Dean’s loose Def Leppard T-shirt, creating a darker black circle on his shoulder. His breaths were slowing, his heart beating softer.

It took an hour for them to both stop altogether. I held him tighter, my sobs clawing their way up my throat. I reached up and shakily kissed his forehead before resting my head on it. I fought to calm myself as I dug into Dean’s abdomen.

It was there, bright and hot.

Dean’s soul.

I held tight to it as I pulled away: away from Dean’s body, away from my own. I catapulted us both to the sky, into the light.

~*~

We were both at rest. We both lived the rest of eternity with each other, like those precious moments while putting Dean back together. We were free, young yet old, away but there.

Finally, we were both home.

 


End file.
